future

you know sometimes how you get so hungry for knowledge, and you just want so much to learn, to absorb, to understand. like how you need to watch all the good movies ever made and listen to all the best songs ever written, and your heart expands and you feel so excited about life and your entire existence. it's so strange. it's exactly like how i felt when i was in the library as a 17-year-old, as i let my finger slide across the spines of the books as i walked along the shelves, totally hungry for the beauty of literature. that is the kind of exaggerated passion that eludes us most of the time. that is the kind of passion that makes you feel........ well, i don't even know how to describe that sort of feeling. it's just amazing.

and then the years go by and we grow numb. we begin to feel okay about things. that's okay. this is okay. nothing is really very exciting or fascinating anymore. you become too impatient to sit through novels. you fall asleep in the cinema. you don't want to have conversations that drag on for too long because there's always unfinished work to do. you are not passionate about anything. you can't think of anything that makes your heart skip a beat. god, i don't want to become like this. sometimes i see the signs of me becoming this numb, unfeeling person, and i am terrified. terrified of being jaded and old, of not wanting anything very much.

i caught Daybreakers at the cinema yesterday and i couldnt stop thinking about how the future is turning out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. artificial intelligence, virtual reality, space travel, city centers that look straight out of a sci-fi movie, even the very absurd cyrogenics..... all of this is happening. today, NOW, we're enveloped in gleaming metal and technology. we have gadgets that allow us the illusion of connectedness, without being really very connected. and we all succumb. we accept and get caught up in the game, because...... because this is our world.

it's terribly scary. and what's scarier is that we are hurtling towards a future that is going to seem to offer more, but which in actual fact is taking away what really matters to us.

and what really matters is.....the kind of love that was so ordinary in the past, but which seems so epic now.